The Real Reason You Avoid the Camera — and How to Overcome It

Jul 14

Written By Abbie

YOU ARE WORTH IT.

That’s my mantra for you — because I hear this all the time:

“I hate being photographed.”
“I’m not photogenic.”
“I don’t like how I look in pictures.”

If that’s you, know this: you’re not alone — and it’s not your fault.

Recently, I listened to a REALLY incredible and powerful episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast called Finally Feel Good in Your Body: 4 Expert Steps to Feeling More Confident Today (Episode 296, from June 8). I sat there listening, scribbling notes as fast as I could.

This episode completely changed how I think about why so many people avoid booking photos, whether it’s headshots, family portraits, or even taking simple snapshots with friends. It also gave me a more concrete understanding of why so many people have such difficulty looking at their photos when we go through them together.

(For the record, I’m in this group too; I totally, 100% get it.)

Here’s what Mel shared — and how it relates to photography:

THE MIRROR FALLACY + WHY WE STRUGGLE WITH PHOTOS

Mel talks about something called the Mirror Fallacy. (Also known in psychology as the “Autoscopic Phenomenon.”) You may have heard about it in recent years as Zoom Fatigue.

What it comes down to is that our brains were not designed to look at ourselves.

Human beings and our brains have evolved to look at other people — to read faces, judge emotions, and decide:

Do I feel safe with this person?
Do I want to connect or keep my distance?

We were never wired to analyze our own faces.

Yet today, we see ourselves non-stop — in mirrors, selfies, Zoom calls, and social media photos. And here’s the kicker: the image we see is often flipped, distorted by angles, lighting, lenses and even worse - harshly judged and evaluated by our own inner critic.

No wonder we cringe at our own photos. Our brains think: “This feels weird. I’m not supposed to look at myself like this!”

Aaah… don’t you already feel a little bit better?

IT’S NOT YOU - IT’S YOUR BRAIN

If you’ve ever said:

“I look terrible in photos.”
“I always look so awkward.”
“I hate my smile.”

…it’s not because you’re unphotogenic. It’s because your brain is dealing with something unnatural. As Mel says:

“You are not meant to look at yourself from outside yourself.”

I couldn’t agree more! As a photographer, I see the real you — the one who lights up when you’re laughing, connecting, or lost in the moment. That’s what I capture. When I tell you that a photo of you is a good one - I’m not just saying it to make you feel good. I’m saying it because I MEAN IT. But now I understand a little better WHY you might disagree.

FOUR STEPS TO FEEL BETTER IN PHOTOS

In the podcast episode, Mel shares four steps to help you break free of this self-view negativity — and they’re perfect for anyone thinking about photos.

1. Understand It’s Not You

Realize that your discomfort is a brain glitch, not a personal flaw. It doesn’t mean you’re unattractive or “bad in photos.” It simply means your brain is working overtime trying to process something it wasn’t built for.

2. Go Back to Childhood

Sometimes, this discomfort started early. A teasing comment, being bullied, or someone criticizing how you looked. Mel encourages you to reflect on those moments and remind yourself that you’re not that child anymore. You deserve to be seen and celebrated.

3. Create a Mantra

Mel suggests using a positive mantra to reframe your thoughts. I made one for you, my dear reader. My mantra for you is: YOU ARE WORTH IT.

You’re worth capturing. You’re worth remembering. You deserve to exist in photos.

4. Stop Waiting — Start Living

Don’t keep putting off family portraits, professional headshots, or documenting special moments in your life.

Book the session. Wear the outfit you love. Exist in your photos - for yourself, for your family, and for your future.

Not sure how to pose? That’s the easy part - I will teach you! But get over here so I can help you! YOU ARE WORTH IT.

A PERSONAL NOTE

I’m so grateful Mel Robbins shared this wisdom. Gosh, it was SO ENLIGHTENING. It matches precisely what I see in my studio every day: people walk in nervous, apologizing for how they look - and walk out glowing.

Sadly, sometimes this thought process even corresponds with what I DON’T see in my studio - another person who declines booking their session because they are not “ready”, haven’t lost the weight, don’t feel comfortable seeing photos of themselves “yet”.

Once you understand (and let go of) the Mirror Fallacy, you’ll start to see what everyone else sees: the real, beautiful you.

If you’ve been hesitating to book a session, let’s talk. I’VE GOT YOU.

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